*quick little break before my niece wakes up*

*whew*

Finally, thank God, a moment of peace for myself ..

These days I feel like I'm really being tested ..

I feel paralyzed most of the day .. and it's really hard for me to function when I don't get a time for myself .. I've always been the type of person that constantly needs to "recharge" by being alone .. too much socializing drains me out .. I need to be by myself ..

Now that I could catch a breath, I'm doing a little reflecting, and I feel like these few days have been strange ..

I think my subconscious has been quite active lately, and it all shows in my dreams when I sleep ..

There's been these reoccurring dreams, where they reflect a certain time in my childhood, with certain people ..

The dreams reflect me being in these people's house, which is a reality because I did use to go to their house in my childhood, but what happens in the dream is totally different (didn't actually happen in reality) and I don't get it ..

It involves laundry .. ?

In those dreams, I'm in their house, and I always happen to have clothes that need to be washed, and for some reason I'm always so apologetic about it and constantly trying to relieve them and assure them that I'll wash them myself and they don't have to worry about it ..

They (in general) and their mother (in particular) always seem to be annoyed by this, I mean me and my clothes ..

Although the mother never really says anything or complains, it's always very obvious that she is annoyed and I constantly apologise to her and try to reassure her and make her feel relieved ..

These dreams are always like this .. however, in yesterday's dream, something new happened ..

The new thing was, that for the first time in these dreams, someone actually spoke and said something ..

And those were the daughters ..

They said to me clearly and directly: "we don't want you to wash your clothes in our house anymore" ..

Now at this point, the whole laundry thing in the dream, and "reality", seemed to have gotten mixed up together .. for in the dream I replied to the daughters: "when did I ever wash my clothes in your house?!" ..

And they said: "you do it all the time!" ..

And I said: "I don't even come to your house anymore!" ..

Then they said this: "you always wash your clothes in our house in the bathroom and as you do you keep yelling angrily and knock things around and we can hear it!" ..

I was in a genuine shock in the dream, because I know I don't do any of that! ..

And I was sincerely asking them if they are kidding with me because I really can't remember doing any of this! .. how are they saying that it's happening? ..

What a weird dream it was .. I don't get it ..

And I don't get why am I dreaming about this now? .. this thing about going to their house was a looong time ago when I was a child ..

It brings back unpleasant memories and feelings .. but I don't understand this whole "laundry" thing .. I don't remember ever washing anything in their house .. I was just a child back then, I don't remember washing anything in any house! ..

I've been racking my brain over this but I just don't get it ..